September 25, 2015

An Open  Letter to My 15-Year-Old Self

           There were a lot of  things that happened when I was fifteen.  I wrote scrapbook.  I made diaries.  I graduated from high school.  I took year off from school.  I had my first real relationship.  I moved to another city. I made amazing friends. I fell in love. I was grieving for my lost father.

          So really, everything happened in my teenage years.  So much happened that it’s hard for me to remember what life was like before all of this — or what I was like before all of this, even.  When I think about myself at 15 — a high school graduate, living in an attic apartment with two lovely roommates — the person I vaguely remember is completely familiar to me in some ways and maddeningly different in others.

          A while back, I was reflecting on the differences between then and now, and just for fun, I wondered what I would tell my 15-year-old self if I had the chance.  I think it would go like this:



Dear 15-year-old Self,

          You are the stongest woman I have ever known. If I were to live a life with the same situation like yours again, I don't think I can. I am so proud that you made the people around happy and helped them in your own little way. Your hands were not that strong but you experienced a hard work that no other teenager ever experienced. I know you were broken but you managed to mend those broken pieces and regained your strength and maintain kindness in your heart.

       I know it is not easy to live a teenage life without parents but you are very strong. I couldn't imagine the life of my children without me and their father. I know life is cruel to you but you never forget to kneel down and pray. That is one thing I admire about you, your relationship with God.

       I will never be tired of telling my children how hard your  life was and how you were able to survive. What a tough woman you will become in the future and will become the most loving mother.


With love,
My grown up self